We live in an age when pretty much any film aimed at kids will have tie-ins that include toys, t-shirts, and, possibly, a computer game of some sort. Few films exploit the merchandising angle as cynically as SPY KIDS 3-D: GAME OVER. This film is little more than an instruction manual for how to play… Read More »
UPTOWN GIRLS
UPTOWN GIRLS is remarkable for its monumental ineptitude. Students of film may well study it one day, mouths agape in wonder, as an example of what not to do when creating a narrative. It wants to be a heartwarming comedy, but it is neither. Instead, it is an irksome and depressing tale that takes just… Read More »
QUEEN OF THE DAMNED
Turning a cult classic like Anne Rices Vampire Chronicles into a movie is not a task for the faint of heart, and screenwriters Scott Abbot and Michael Petroni have boldly taken up the challenge in this not-quite-followup to INTERVIEW WITH THE VAMPIRE. They’ve made the, ahem, interesting decision to take Rices subsequent two novels and distill them into… Read More »
SEABISCUIT
If you are very lucky, who wont know anything about Seabiscuits story so that this remarkable true tale can unfold for you in all its improbable glory. Gary Ross adaptation of Laura Hillenbrands bestseller, also titled Seabiscuit, is a heartwarming, uplifting experience and while such adjectives are not usually paired with films that are also… Read More »
SECRET LIVES OF DENTISTS, THE
Time in the Alan Rudolph universe doesn’t flow the same was as it does in the one that you and I inhabit. It lopes along, telescoping events and worrying little about the standard rules of pacing. This can be a good thing when it comes to examing the complexities of human interaction, as in AFTERGLOW,… Read More »
GIGLI
If GIGLI were any worse than it is, it would require special HAZMET handling. It transcends merely bad, merely tedious, merely irksome and plummets into that very special category of film, the one that so tries and tortures its audience that, emerging again from the soul-sucking black hole of celluloid disaster, it no longer fears… Read More »
S.W.A.T.
Did or does S.W.A.T. the television series have the sort of cult following that made a film version inevitable? Are there conventions of kids who dress up in ersatz S.W.A.T. uniforms and stage mock rescues? Are there Hondo worshipers? A frightening thought, but not as off-putting as sitting through this film. The passel of writers… Read More »
OPEN RANGE
At the beginning of OPEN RANGE, Kevin Costners latest directing, acting and producing effort, a wagon becomes stuck in the mud after a torrential rainstorm. Kevin and his co-star Robert Duvall do get the wagon rolling again. Alas, the film itself remains mired in situ. Kevin returns here to the western genre and hes certainly… Read More »
TEKNOLUST
One of my favorite lines in Lyne Hershman-Leeson’s TEKNOLUST concerns the side effects of knowledge. They’re dangerous because they’re unpredictable. Once you learn something, paradigms shift, assumptions evaporate, and you’re forced to look at the world in a whole new way and maybe even re-think your whole life. Scary stuff. The film ponders the nature… Read More »
CABIN FEVER
What we have in CABIN FEVER is the classic tale of city kids out in the deep dark woods with all the attendant mischief that that sort of thing engenders. The saving grace is that these kids are not outstandingly stupid, say, like the Blair Witch kids. You know, the ones that kept crossing and… Read More »
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