The short version about MADAM WEB is this. No. Just no. Seriously. No. The long version is this. After spending 1 hour and 57 minutes with MADAME WEB, the word that floats to mind is insipid. Written by a committee, and showing all that is wrong with that approach, it flouts any sense of logic,… Read More »
UNCHARTED
UNCHARTED is like the first pitch meeting to potential financiers, which is odd since it’s been in development for almost a decade. What we have here is the broad outline of a plot full of twists, turns, and aerial stunts. What we don’t have is any sense of order or logic, even that of the… Read More »
BLOODSHOT
Where to begin with BLOODSHOT, a derivative lump of lethargy that taints the thrill of the plot twist, and renders an action sequence in plummeting elevators dully predictable? Right down to the quips. Powered solely by Vin Diesel’s star power, it is overwritten and under cogitated, with special effects that aren’t. Diesel is still a… Read More »
THE NUN
The decline and fall of franchises is a phenomenon that is all too common, and yet still heartbreaking in its own way. For every James Bond or Star Wars, there are countless other series that started strong, usually with a film that was a one-off, the success of which led to studio bean-counters to push… Read More »
KING ARTHUR: LEGEND OF THE SWORD
It’s as though Guy Ritchie binge-watched Game of Thrones and then thought to himself, “Hey, I can do that!” and made KING ARTHUR: LEGEND OF THE SWORD. To which I reply, “No, Guy. No you can’t.” What we have here is a chaotic script that attempts several, mutually exclusive tones and genres, with poor Charlie… Read More »
OUIJA
I have several Halloween rituals, one of which is to seek out the seasonal schlock horror film. There is almost always one low-budget groaner released for a quick buck and a putative future in the secondary market of home video. My reasons are two-fold. Sometimes there is a pleasant surprise to be found in the… Read More »